By Michael Derrick Hudson
Almost everything got in. Even the dinosaurs stomp aroundthe hot tubs and gazebos, haloes shimmering over
their massive intelligent skulls, grunting Alleluias
. Atheists
made it too, although they have to wear little red beanies sowe know who to gently tease for corporeal
hopelessness and infidelity: Cheer
up,
Christopher
Hitchens!
After a while, you grow used to the bliss: not once twangingthe wrong note, lathering and shampooing
each other, sexless, in tepid frothy pools of serotonin, loving
equally each one of my great-great-great-great-grandmas andsecond cousins twice-removed and each one
of my dead cats taking turns to rub, purring,
against my hairless ankles. Princess! Plato! Hodge-Podge!
Rubber mice. Mandatory self-esteem. Beauty lockedin perpetuity. The standard-issue smile. The perfect Boss . . .
So mostly I like it here. The reassurance
of the unambiguously blameless, the expulsion of froideur
and doubt. It’s perpetual sunrise over a greeny-green gardenwhere our only lion pads by, obliged to nuzzle
our celestial lamb chewing its celestial cud. But no flyblownscat, no blood-stained tooth. No hangovers.
No broken hearts. Sure, sometimes I miss a liony feral glint,an unappeasable urge, the gross sentimentality
of loss. Sometimes I just want something careworn, regretful,dilapidated, or stupid. Sometimes you just want
to fuck with them. Today, I got a demerit for goofing aroundwhen ordering lunch: scorched coffee, black as hell,
a day-old chocolate donut with sprinkles, a quart of rye, and
a very specific spring lamb on a skewer, half-raw
half-charred. Not funny!
But in Heaven records get expunged.
There’re no penalties, no parole. There’s nowhere else to go . . .
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